What are you doing to protect yourself from the bedbug infestation?
- Covering bed with layer after layer of spiders
- Letting them bite me, but not making a big deal out of it. It is really just the attention they are after.
- Getting to know them, gaining their trust, waiting for the right moment to make my move.
- Yeah… like they’re going to bite the guy sleeping in the SIX THOUSAND DOLLAR SUIT. Come on!
- Beating bedbugs at their own game. Namely, drinking human blood.
Excerpts from God’s Creation journal that didn’t make Genesis
- Day 8 – Nachos! Can’t believe I didn’t think of this yesterday!
- Day 19 – Nachos are catching up with Me. Re-started sit-up program today. Definitely sticking with it this time.
- Day 23 – Decided to just remove a couple of My ribs. Stomach looks flatter! I can live with this.
Least used tragic flaws in classic literature
- Body does not automatically regulate breathing
- Unable to distinguish KISS from Little KISS
- An early, undiagnosable form of Bieber Fever
- Pacemaker set to same frequency as garage door opener
Advertisement
