Unexplored Reasons the Mayan Calendar Ends in 2012
- Key member of calendar team left to pursue solo career
- Calendar-making fad died with Dateline report: Is Calendar Making Turning Our Children Gay?
- Mayans foresaw advent of iPhone apps, wanted to stop while calendars were still hot
Stealthiest Animal Hybrids
- Dodo-Possum – great at “playing extinct”
Ethnic Group That Could Challenge the Jersey Shore Kids In Their Reality Show Domination
- The subsection of adults that still haven’t figured out Blackberrys, texting or Twitter — watch every week as they struggle to make plans, end up at different clubs and search for a working pay phone
Least Used Flaws in Classic Literature
- Can’t drive a stick
- Slow texter
- Still hasn’t seen Star Wars
- Seasonal allergies
Unpublised Excerpts from God’s Creation Journal
- In retrospect, it seems pretty obvious that a snake shouldn’t be trusted. Really wish I had created literary archetypes before this whole mess started.
- I realized today that hanging out with a dude all the time might raise some eyebrows. Created woman just to be on the safe side.
- Woke up this morning and decided that I needed some ME time. A day of rest to recharge my batteries. I was going spend the afternoon eliminating all suffering but I figured, “hey, that can wait til next week”
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Tags: back in the saddle, catholic school education, too many gay jokes?
